so this week i received some news from a friend that had her a little bit upset. well, maybe more frustrated than upset. she was experiencing something that i have been privy to in the past, and somewhat now in the present. her worth was being described to her by her appearance. i don't know if it was by strangers or friends or brothers and sisters in Christ - but it bothered her. it bothers me. i have been in her shoes, in fact, i still walk in those shoes now.
while many people believe they are being kind or helpful when they tell people they would look nicer if they wore make-up, dressed up a little, did their hair different, etc, the fact is the other person is hearing that they aren't good enough the way they are. and what if that person likes himself or herself just they way they are? what if they think they look better w/o the mascara? if you tell someone that they would look better dressing better or they might find romance if they just dared to arrive in color - the underlying message is that for the one who isn't doing those things - they are of little value the way they are.
true? of course it's true. we just don't want to recognize it in this way. why? because we think we are doing the other person a favor. we think we are making them better when they believe they are already better! also, when we tell others that if they get all dolled-up or GQ'd they can land the men or ladies - we have now again defined their worth in looks and relationships. we have made those the main focus.
what if someone's main focus is not on their looks or relationships, but on other things - say, trying to grow closer in their walk w/ the Lord and trying to develop spiritual disciplines? what if someone else's main focus is trying to find out how to buy the next month's groceries?
we tell kids that it doesn't matter what they look like, they are pretty just the way they are - too bad we don't live that way. but we can start. we can begin to value others as God values them - just for being them.
God sent Christ into the world to die for us, "...While we were still sinners..". Romans 5:8 niv He didn't wait for us to change and He didn't tell us - "oh, hey, if you get hitched before the age of 13 or where that turban in a stylish turquoise blue, I'll send Jesus down and help you find your way to me." Nope - He didn't do that - Thank You God! He valued our lives even when we didn't value Him. He valued us even when we were covered, and are covered in the filthy rags that are our sins. He values us b/c WE ARE HIS!!!
so what about you? what about me? how do you and I measure value? are we giving people a false sense of worth by saying things such as "you know, you would catch more guys if you dressed more like a girl and wore a dress more often." (true quote from a church member to me while in college)
it is no wonder people have a hard time coming to Christ as they are (as He accepts us!) when they can't come to their friends the same way.
while many people believe they are being kind or helpful when they tell people they would look nicer if they wore make-up, dressed up a little, did their hair different, etc, the fact is the other person is hearing that they aren't good enough the way they are. and what if that person likes himself or herself just they way they are? what if they think they look better w/o the mascara? if you tell someone that they would look better dressing better or they might find romance if they just dared to arrive in color - the underlying message is that for the one who isn't doing those things - they are of little value the way they are.
true? of course it's true. we just don't want to recognize it in this way. why? because we think we are doing the other person a favor. we think we are making them better when they believe they are already better! also, when we tell others that if they get all dolled-up or GQ'd they can land the men or ladies - we have now again defined their worth in looks and relationships. we have made those the main focus.
what if someone's main focus is not on their looks or relationships, but on other things - say, trying to grow closer in their walk w/ the Lord and trying to develop spiritual disciplines? what if someone else's main focus is trying to find out how to buy the next month's groceries?
we tell kids that it doesn't matter what they look like, they are pretty just the way they are - too bad we don't live that way. but we can start. we can begin to value others as God values them - just for being them.
God sent Christ into the world to die for us, "...While we were still sinners..". Romans 5:8 niv He didn't wait for us to change and He didn't tell us - "oh, hey, if you get hitched before the age of 13 or where that turban in a stylish turquoise blue, I'll send Jesus down and help you find your way to me." Nope - He didn't do that - Thank You God! He valued our lives even when we didn't value Him. He valued us even when we were covered, and are covered in the filthy rags that are our sins. He values us b/c WE ARE HIS!!!
so what about you? what about me? how do you and I measure value? are we giving people a false sense of worth by saying things such as "you know, you would catch more guys if you dressed more like a girl and wore a dress more often." (true quote from a church member to me while in college)
it is no wonder people have a hard time coming to Christ as they are (as He accepts us!) when they can't come to their friends the same way.
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